學(xué)習(xí)啦小編給大家?guī)砹擞⒄Z搞笑笑話9篇讓你開心快樂每一天!

　　英語搞笑笑話一：A Woman's answer

　　A husband said to his wife, " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"

　　"Well," his wife answered at once." The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."

　　一位丈夫?qū)λ钠拮诱f：“為什么上帝把婦女創(chuàng)造得如此美麗卻又愚蠢呢?” “噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很簡單。上帝使我們?nèi)绱嗣利悾腥瞬艜畚覀?。上帝使我們?nèi)绱擞薮?，我們才會嫁給他們。”

　　英語搞笑笑話二：　Only One Eye to Settle On

　　The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

　　"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

　　姑娘找到媒人，說：“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前為什么不告訴我?” “怎么沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面后，我就說，他一眼就看中你了。”

　　英語搞笑笑話三：You May Select可以選擇

　　The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.

　　One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"

　　The wife said, "You may select the dish today."

　　The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"

　　"Cabbage."

　　"The others?"

　　"None."

　　"Then how to select?"

　　"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.

　　丈夫抱怨妻子總是做同樣的一種菜。

　　一天，丈夫回到家，問妻子：“親愛的，今天我們吃啥菜?”

　　妻子回答：“今天你可以選擇。” 丈夫感到非常高興，又問：“都有哪些菜呢?”

　　“炒白菜。”

　　“還有呢?”

　　“沒了。”

　　“那你要我怎么選呢?”

　　“吃還是不吃!”妻子一本正經(jīng)地說道。

　　英語搞笑笑話四：The Reason of Being Late

　　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

　　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

　　遲到的原因

　　老　師：約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到?

　　約翰尼：每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過學(xué)校附近的拐角處，就見路牌上寫著‘學(xué)校-緩行’。

　　英語搞笑笑話五：The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　新西蘭的氣候

　　老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣?

　　馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。

　　老師：錯了。

　　馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運(yùn)來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。

　　英語搞笑笑話六：My Sister's Fingers

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　我妹妹的手指頭

　　老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了?

　　凱溫：對不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個手指頭。

　　老師：怎么沒有扎繃帶呀?

　　凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。

　　英語搞笑笑話七：All Except the Music

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　除了音樂

　　一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”

　　“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”

　　英語搞笑笑話八：The plural Form of "Child"

　　Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

　　Tom: Men.

　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

　　Tom: Twins.

　　"孩子"的復(fù)數(shù)形式

　　老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式是什么?

　　湯姆：男人們。

　　老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的復(fù)數(shù)形式呢?

　　湯姆：雙胞胎。

　　英語搞笑笑話九：When Do People Talk Least?

　　Student A: When do people talk least?

　　Student B: In February.

　　Student A: Why?

　　Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

　　人們什么時候說話最少?

　　學(xué)生甲：人們在什么時候說話最少?

　　學(xué)生乙：在二月。

　　學(xué)生甲：為什么呢?

　　學(xué)生乙：因?yàn)槎率且荒曛凶疃痰囊粋€月。