英語(yǔ)小笑話
英語(yǔ)小笑話
笑話可能只是文字游戲,但有時(shí)它在人們解決生活中的困惑時(shí)起著重要作用。小編精心收集了短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文小笑話篇1
A drunk
醉漢
A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.
有一位警官把一個(gè)在車道上穿進(jìn)穿出，迂回蛇行的男子攔到路邊。
He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
他走到這名男子的車窗旁邊說(shuō)：“先生，我要你對(duì)著這個(gè)酒精測(cè)試管吹一口氣。”
The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack."
這名男子說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是個(gè)氣喘病患者呀。如果我吹的話，我就會(huì)真的患很嚴(yán)重的氣喘病。”
"Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局進(jìn)行血液檢驗(yàn)。”
"I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death."
“我也能抽血檢驗(yàn)呀。我是個(gè)血友病患呀。如果我抽血檢驗(yàn)，我就會(huì)流血過(guò)多而死呀。”
"Well ,then we need a urine sample."
“嗯，那我們就要你進(jìn)行尿液檢驗(yàn)吧。”
"I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar."
“對(duì)不起呀 ，警官，我也不能驗(yàn)?zāi)蜓?。我也是一個(gè)糖尿病患者呀。如果我驗(yàn)?zāi)虻脑?，我的血糖就真的?huì)變得很低。”
"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
“好吧，那我要你出來(lái)到這邊，走這條白線。”
"I can't do that,officer."
“警官，我辦不到呀。”
"Why not? "
“為什么辦不到?”
"Because I am too drunk to do that."
“因?yàn)槲液鹊锰砹耍圆荒苣敲醋鲅健?rdquo;
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文小笑話篇2
Apprehending Criminals
逮捕罪犯
The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are thebest at apprehending criminals.
洛杉磯警察局、聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局和中央情報(bào)局，都想要證明他們最會(huì)逮捕罪犯。
The President decides to give them a test.
于是總統(tǒng)決定要考考他們。
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
他把一只兔子放進(jìn)森林，而他們每一個(gè)人都必須去抓它。
The CIA goes in.
中央情報(bào)局的人進(jìn)去了。
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
他們?cè)谡麄€(gè)森林里放置了動(dòng)物通報(bào)器。
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
他們質(zhì)問(wèn)所有的 植物和礦物證人。
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
就在三個(gè)月的密集調(diào)查之后，他們得到的結(jié)論就是兔子不存在。
The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,
聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局韻人進(jìn)去了。就在兩個(gè)星期都沒(méi)有線索之后，
killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.
他們放火把森林燒了，殺光了里面的一切，包括這只，兔子在內(nèi) ，而且他們并沒(méi)有表現(xiàn)出歉意。
The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.
洛杉礬警察局的人進(jìn)去了。兩個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他們帶著一只慘遭嚴(yán)重毆打的熊出來(lái)。
The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"
這只熊大聲地喊著說(shuō)：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文小笑話篇3
Beef Sandwich
牛肉三明治
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.
有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜臺(tái)旁選了一個(gè)位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.
他點(diǎn)餐時(shí)說(shuō)：“給我來(lái)個(gè)腌牛肉三明治。”
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it ,like our midnight Special."
"菜單上沒(méi)有腌牛肉三 明治，但是我可以給你一個(gè)里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我們的午夜特餐。”
"What's a Midnight Special?"
“午夜特餐是什么?”
"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle and mayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."
“有三層，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、 洋蔥、腌泡菜，還有美乃滋的三層烤葡萄干面包。…
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"你可不可以在兩片白面包中間只放一片腌牛肉，裝在一個(gè)盤子上端給我吃?”
"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,
“哦，當(dāng)然可以。啦!”接著他就轉(zhuǎn)向制作三明治的人，
he sang out:"One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold the tongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin bread white,untoasted!"
大聲喊出：“一個(gè)午夜特餐。把它做一層就好，里面不要加牛著、熏香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、洋蔥、腌泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄干面包做成白面包，不要烤!”
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