英語(yǔ)的小笑話
笑話是一種用來(lái)逗笑取樂(lè)的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學(xué)們?cè)谌粘Ｉ詈蛯W(xué)習(xí)中不時(shí)地會(huì)心一笑,還能從中學(xué)習(xí)到不少的英語(yǔ)知識(shí)。小編精心收集了英語(yǔ)小笑話短文，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
英語(yǔ)小笑話短文篇1
Keep Your Head
頭腦要保持冷靜!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer askedhim for half a head of cabbage.
有一個(gè)年輕人在一家雜貨店的農(nóng)產(chǎn)部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜。
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我們東西都沒(méi)有賣半顆的。”
"Well, I insist, I 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要問(wèn)問(wèn)經(jīng)理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer hadfollowed him, said to the manager,
那名年輕人走到經(jīng)理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨著他，他對(duì)經(jīng)理說(shuō)道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“經(jīng)理，有個(gè)渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他轉(zhuǎn)身發(fā)現(xiàn)那名顧客，立刻又補(bǔ)充說(shuō)：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而這位先生要買另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后，經(jīng)理把他拉到一旁說(shuō)道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higherposition opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年輕人，你反應(yīng)真快。我們需要像你這么聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會(huì)記得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager'sspot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
幾個(gè)星期之后，經(jīng)理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個(gè)經(jīng)理的職位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey, event hockey players，
“艾得蒙敦!”年輕人叫了出來(lái)，“那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年輕人，我太太剛好來(lái)自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir? what posltion does she play?"
“真的嗎?經(jīng)理，那她是打哪一個(gè)位置呢?”
英語(yǔ)小笑話短文篇2
Home Sweet Home
還是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科醫(yī)生剛從非洲狩獵回來(lái)。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問(wèn)道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，實(shí)在太令人失望了，”外科醫(yī)生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也沒(méi)獵殺到，實(shí)際上，還是待在醫(yī)院里比較有成就感。”
英語(yǔ)小笑話短文篇3
You Do Have a Problem
你真是有問(wèn)題了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)明他上廁所有困難。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便嗎?，’醫(yī)生問(wèn)他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六點(diǎn)鐘。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情況如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像時(shí)鐘一樣，我每天準(zhǔn)時(shí)七點(diǎn)鐘上大號(hào)。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那問(wèn)題到底出在哪里呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八點(diǎn)鐘才起床。”
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