初一英語小笑話
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔邸P【幘氖占顺跻挥⒄Z小笑話短文,供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
初一英語小笑話短文篇1
You Do Have a Problem
你真是有問題了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄對醫(yī)生說明他上廁所有困難。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便嗎?,’醫(yī)生問他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有,每天早上六點(diǎn)鐘。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情況如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像時鐘一樣,我每天準(zhǔn)時七點(diǎn)鐘上大號。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那問題到底出在哪里呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八點(diǎn)鐘才起床。”
初一英語小笑話短文篇2
Okay, Who Cut the Cheesee?
誰在放屁?
A young man was visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.
有位年輕人第一次去拜訪女朋友的父母親。
He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastricdistress.
他好緊張,緊張到腸胃不舒服。
Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas.
令人苦惱的是,他急著要排除腸內(nèi)的空氣。
Surreptitiously, he emitted a "silent but deadly. "
于是他放了個臭得要命的悶屁。
"Rover! " the girlfriend's mother admonished.
“路寶!”女朋友的媽媽警告家里的狗。
The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out ofhis difficultieis.
那個老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下,想出了一個解決難題的方法來。
Desperately seeking relief, he let out a Larger hooter.
他急于舒解,便放了一個更大的響屁。
"Rover!" shouted the mother.
“路寶!”媽媽又一次叫著她家的狗。
Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window rattler.
年輕人以為他的問題已經(jīng)結(jié)束了,于是他放了一個連窗戶都為之振動的大響屁。
"Rover ! " cried the mother, "get over here before he shits on you."
“路寶!”媽媽喊道,“快過來這邊,免得他在你身上拉屎!”
初一英語小笑話短文篇3
At Least You Get a Choice
至少你有所選擇
A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.
一名罪人去世后,剛下地獄就被帶往各處走走。
"I'll tell you how it works around here," declared a particularly hideous devil. "You get yourchoice of three punishments. Here's the first. "
“我將告訴你這里的狀況,”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。“你必須在三種刑罰中選一個,這是第一種。”
The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boilingwater.
罪人看見男男女女反復(fù)地被浸入沸騰的熱水中,嚇得目瞪口呆。
"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people beingcontinually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.
“再看第二種。”可憐的罪人看到一些不幸的人被兇惡的野獸和殘酷的妖怪不停地追趕,嚇得直打哆嗦。
“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.
“這是第三種。”一群人站在深及膝部的糞池中喝茶。
"Well,this seems all right," said the sinner."I'll take this one."And he joined the group.
“這個看來還可以,我就選這個。”罪人說著便加入了那群犯人。
No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out:"OK, tea time's over. Get back onyour heads. "
就在他加入不久,一個魔鬼大聲喊道:“午茶時間結(jié)束,回到頭下腳上倒立的姿勢。”
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