英語小笑話
笑話(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個(gè)民族的生存環(huán)境、生活方式、社會關(guān)系和心理特征等等。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語笑話，歡迎欣賞!
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語笑話篇1
My friend and I were busy mending fences when my house-keeper arrived. Several times during the day, she drove out, returning 45 minutes later. Feeling curious, my friend asked her:
"Where do you keep going?"
"Some darn birds built a nest in my car bumper!" she exclaimed. "Every two hours I have to go home because the parents are waiting go feed their young. I wish they'd hurry up and raise those kids."
我和我的朋友正在忙著修籬笆，這時(shí)候，我的管家也來了。在這一天中，她開車出去了好幾次，每次都是四十分鐘后回來，我的朋友感到很奇怪，于是問她：
“你總出去干什么?”
“一些該死的鳥在我的汽車保險(xiǎn)杠上出了筑一個(gè)巢，”她說，“我必須每隔兩小時(shí)回一趟家，不然那些大鳥就會等在那里喂它的小鳥，我真希望它們快點(diǎn)把她們的孩子喂大。”
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語笑話篇2
A commuter sitting on a subway train reading a paper back was so sprawled out in the seat that the woman next to him had very little room. When she asked if he could move a bit, he refused.
Just then, a man opposite them yelled, "Why don't you sit like a human being!"
"What are you going to do if I don't?" came the reply.
"Well, for one thing, I'll tell you how that book ends."
一位跑地鐵通勤的家伙四肢伸展地坐在座位上看著一本平裝小說。他旁邊的女士被擠的實(shí)在難忍，便要求稍微挪動(dòng)一下，卻遭到了他的拒絕。
這時(shí)，坐在對面的一位先生喊道：“你為什么不能像人一樣坐著呢?”
“我就是不愿意，看你能把我怎么樣?”
那個(gè)人回答說：“那好，只有一個(gè)辦法了，我會告訴你這本書是怎樣結(jié)的尾。”
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語笑話篇3
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
A disgruntled customer at a window near mine exclaimed: "No tickets? What do you mean no tickets?"
The woman waiting on him smiled sweetly. "I'm terribly sorry," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
在戲院售票窗口售票時(shí)常與這種人打交道，從而會出現(xiàn)很多新鮮事兒。
一次，我隔壁售票口傳來了顧客的抱怨聲：“沒有票啦?你說的沒票了是什么意思?”
那位女服務(wù)員笑容可掬地回答說：先生，實(shí)在對不起您，哪個(gè)字不明白?”
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英語笑話篇4
A young man came home and said, "Dad, I just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."
Father replied, "Ok, son, But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months passed and the young man came into the house with his report card in his hand, "Dad, I got great marks on my report card, I've been keeping my room as neat as apin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
Father replied, "That's all true, but son, you didn't cut your hair."
Son said, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair too."
Father replied, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right, And he walks everywhere he goes."
一個(gè)小伙子回到家跟爸爸說：“爸爸，我拿駕照了，我想開車。”
爸爸答道：“好的，兒子。但是，你要拿到好成績，要把房間給收拾整齊，要把院子打掃干凈，還要把頭發(fā)給理了。這幾個(gè)月做好了我們再談開車的事。”
幾個(gè)月后，小伙子拿到成績單回到家，“爸爸，我每門功課都得了優(yōu)，房間整整齊齊，院子干干凈凈。我能開車了嗎?”
爸爸回答：“確實(shí)做得很好，但是兒子，你還沒有理發(fā)呢。”
兒子說：“但是，爸爸，耶穌的頭發(fā)也很長啊。”
爸爸回答：“是的，兒子，完全正確。但是耶穌去哪都是走著去的呀!”
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