下面是學習啦小編整理的簡單的幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　簡單的幽默笑話：小女孩的愿望

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　簡單的幽默笑話：狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒有關系，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　簡單的幽默笑話：不是我的錯

　　It's not my fault

　　Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

　　Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

　　不是我的錯

　　媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

　　女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。

　　簡單的幽默笑話：父親在哪?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　簡單的幽默笑話：兩塊蛋糕

　　Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　兩塊蛋糕

　　湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

　　媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　簡單的幽默笑話：I do not recognize you

　　Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!

　　Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!

　　一天老虎在沙灘散步，見到一只螃蟹，就走過去想看個究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹叢里跑。老虎痛得跳起來了，緊接著就追螃蟹!

　　追到樹叢就不見螃蟹了，這時老虎看見一只守在大網(wǎng)中的蜘蛛，老虎對著蜘蛛發(fā)火了：好你個螃蟹!你以為你上了網(wǎng)我就不認得你了!

　　簡單的幽默笑話：A Smart Parrot 聰明的鸚鵡

　　A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

　　"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

　　"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

　　有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那里，他看見有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對此他感到不解，于是他問該店的老板，老板回答說：“這只鸚鵡受過特殊的訓練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語。”

　　這個好奇的人接著問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎么樣呢?”

　　“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說。

　　簡單的幽默笑話：Not so fast 別那么急嘛

　　A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(歡慶的) charity event was taking place.

　　Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

　　"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?"

　　"Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

　　一只豬和一只雞路過一所教堂，那里有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。

　　在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。

　　“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”

　　“著什么急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”

　　簡單的幽默笑話：The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛

　　A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　一個鄉(xiāng)下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛后，就準備點火烤著吃?；瘘c著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發(fā)出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子聽到了蝸牛發(fā)出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢?”

　　簡單的幽默笑話：Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

　　一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。

　　她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。因為盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。”

　　那個小女孩說約拿(一位西伯來先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。

　　她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。”

　　那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”

　　她的老師問：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”

　　那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”

　　簡單的幽默笑話：A Duel 決斗

　　Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

　　It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

　　"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

　　"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

　　小彼得從操場回到家時，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。

　　顯然他剛與人惡斗了一番，而且打輸了。父親問兒子發(fā)生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說，我向拉里挑起決斗，而且我讓他挑選武器。”

　　“嗯，”父親說，“這看上去很公平!”

　　“我知道，但我沒想到他選擇了他姐姐!”

　　簡單的幽默笑話：Neither 都不是

　　It was local election time and the candidate was visiting all the houses in his area.

　　At one house a small boy answered the door. "Tell me, young man," said the politician. "Is your Mommy in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"

　　"Neither," said the child, "she's in the bathroom."

　　正值當?shù)馗傔x時期，候選人到他的區(qū)域的千家萬戶登門拜訪。

　　候選人來到了一家門口，一個小男孩開了門。“告訴我，年輕人，”候選人問道，“你母親是在共和黨還是在民主黨?”

　　“都不是，”孩子答到，“她在浴室。”