下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的經(jīng)典英語冷笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助。

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

　　“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”

　　“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”

　　“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

　　進(jìn)步

　　一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位說：“你的 英語 最近學(xué)的怎么樣?”

　　“很好，我過去不懂英國人說話，可現(xiàn)在是英國人不懂我的話了。”

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：

　　The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：

　　Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

　　John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

　　Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

　　John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘

　　老師：“John，動(dòng)詞ring的過去分詞是什么?”。

　　約翰：“你想它是什么呢”?

　　老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。

　　約翰：“我想我不知道”。

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：

　　An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.

　　"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.

　　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it wouldappreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

　　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

　　With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."

　　以為藝術(shù)家在一個(gè)畫廊辦了個(gè)展覽，他問店主是否有人對(duì)他參展的畫感興趣。

　　“我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息。”店主回答。

　　“先告訴我好消息。”畫家要求道。

　　“好消息是一位紳士詢問了你的作品，還問它是否會(huì)在你死后增。我告訴他會(huì)的，然后他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”

　　“那太棒了!”畫家驚嘆。“那么什么會(huì)是壞消息呢?”

　　店主想了想之后說：“問那個(gè)問題的是你的醫(yī)生”。

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：

　　Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

　　John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

　　Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

　　John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"

　　老師：“John，動(dòng)詞ring的過去分詞是什么?”。

　　約翰：“你想它是什么呢”?

　　老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。

　　約翰：“我想我不知道”。

　　經(jīng)典英語冷笑話：

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"

　　"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."

　　"Well done. Who was that?"

　　"My granny."

　　"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

　　"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

　　一個(gè)主日學(xué)校校(基督教教會(huì)為了向兒童灌輸宗教思想, 在星期天開辦的兒童班)的老師在對(duì)學(xué)生講使別人高興的重要性。“現(xiàn)在，孩子們，”她說：“你們當(dāng)中有誰讓別人高興過?”

　　“我，老師，”一個(gè)小男孩說：“昨天我就使別人高興過。”

　　“做得好，是誰呢?”

　　“我奶奶。”

　　“好孩子。現(xiàn)在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。”

　　“是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個(gè)小時(shí)。然后我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興!’”