下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：

　　THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown.

　　某學(xué)校發(fā)給學(xué)生的健康調(diào)查表里有個(gè)錯(cuò)別字把性別的性字寫成了襪字。一位母親在為她的兒子填寫表格時(shí)，在襪別的那欄填上了：棕色為主。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：Clarinet

　　When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive wood instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage hold.

　　He neatly solved the problem. Cello in hand, he approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, May I bring my clarinet on board? Scanning her list, she replied, Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip, and, smiling, waved him on.

　　單簧管

　　我在一個(gè)交響樂團(tuán)演奏時(shí)，我們樂團(tuán)與一家大航空公司達(dá)成協(xié)議，哪些樂器可以帶上飛機(jī)，哪些樂器要作為行李托運(yùn)。一個(gè)大提琴手驚愕地發(fā)現(xiàn)他那精致、昂貴的木質(zhì)樂器竟要托運(yùn)，經(jīng)受行李艙內(nèi)的低溫以及野蠻的裝缷。

　　他干凈利落地解決了這個(gè)問題。他手里拿著大提琴，走到門口的空中小姐跟前，問道：我可以將我單簧管帶上飛機(jī)嗎?她檢視了一下單子，答道，單簧管可以。祝你旅途愉快。然后微笑著揮手讓他進(jìn)去了。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：

　　What a world of pathos in this: A barren room, illkempt children, a worn out patient wife, a dissolute husband, and weak.

　　Mary, you ought to have married a better man.

　　John, I did.

　　一個(gè)何等沮喪的情景：空蕩蕩的屋子，臟兮兮的孩子，精疲力竭逆來順受的妻子，自甘墮落的丈夫，還十分虛弱。

　　瑪麗，你真該和一個(gè)好點(diǎn)兒的男人結(jié)婚。

　　約翰，我是這么做了。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：Fishing

　　Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.

　　On the way home, Harry fiddled with a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：

　　THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown.

　　某學(xué)校發(fā)給學(xué)生的健康調(diào)查表里有個(gè)錯(cuò)別字把性別的性字寫成了襪字。一位母親在為她的兒子填寫表格時(shí)，在襪別的那欄填上了：棕色為主。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：Clarinet

　　When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive wood instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage hold.

　　He neatly solved the problem. Cello in hand, he approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, May I bring my clarinet on board? Scanning her list, she replied, Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip, and, smiling, waved him on.

　　單簧管

　　我在一個(gè)交響樂團(tuán)演奏時(shí)，我們樂團(tuán)與一家大航空公司達(dá)成協(xié)議，哪些樂器可以帶上飛機(jī)，哪些樂器要作為行李托運(yùn)。一個(gè)大提琴手驚愕地發(fā)現(xiàn)他那精致、昂貴的木質(zhì)樂器竟要托運(yùn)，經(jīng)受行李艙內(nèi)的低溫以及野蠻的裝缷。

　　他干凈利落地解決了這個(gè)問題。他手里拿著大提琴，走到門口的空中小姐跟前，問道：我可以將我單簧管帶上飛機(jī)嗎?她檢視了一下單子，答道，單簧管可以。祝你旅途愉快。然后微笑著揮手讓他進(jìn)去了。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：

　　What a world of pathos in this: A barren room, illkempt children, a worn out patient wife, a dissolute husband, and weak.

　　Mary, you ought to have married a better man.

　　John, I did.

　　一個(gè)何等沮喪的情景：空蕩蕩的屋子，臟兮兮的孩子，精疲力竭逆來順受的妻子，自甘墮落的丈夫，還十分虛弱。

　　瑪麗，你真該和一個(gè)好點(diǎn)兒的男人結(jié)婚。

　　約翰，我是這么做了。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：Fishing

　　Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.

　　On the way home, Harry fiddled with a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?

　　Wow! Larry said, It's a good thing we didn't catch any more.

　　釣魚

　　拉里和哈里驅(qū)車500英里去釣魚。兩人花了一大筆錢租了一間小屋，又花了差不多同樣的錢租了一條船。兩人釣了三天，只釣到一條魚。

　　在回家的路上，拉里開車，哈里撥弄著計(jì)算器。一小時(shí)后，哈里說：你可知道我們釣的這條魚幾乎用掉我們2000美元?

　　哇!拉里應(yīng)答：幸虧我們沒有多釣到魚。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　一個(gè)非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對(duì)她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個(gè)忙。我要你答應(yīng)永遠(yuǎn)不要用兩個(gè)詞，一個(gè)是“討厭的”，另一個(gè)是“極好的”。你能答應(yīng)我嗎?

　　噢，當(dāng)然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個(gè)詞?

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：奇猜異想

　　Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.

　　One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"

　　我們的物理教授千方百計(jì)引導(dǎo)我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進(jìn)入池子，發(fā)現(xiàn)水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對(duì)這一發(fā)現(xiàn)十分激動(dòng)，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰(shuí)知道他喊的是什么意思。

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”

,000?

　　Wow! Larry said, It's a good thing we didn't catch any more.

　　釣魚

　　拉里和哈里驅(qū)車500英里去釣魚。兩人花了一大筆錢租了一間小屋，又花了差不多同樣的錢租了一條船。兩人釣了三天，只釣到一條魚。

　　在回家的路上，拉里開車，哈里撥弄著計(jì)算器。一小時(shí)后，哈里說：你可知道我們釣的這條魚幾乎用掉我們2000美元?

　　哇!拉里應(yīng)答：幸虧我們沒有多釣到魚。

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　一個(gè)非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對(duì)她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個(gè)忙。我要你答應(yīng)永遠(yuǎn)不要用兩個(gè)詞，一個(gè)是“討厭的”，另一個(gè)是“極好的”。你能答應(yīng)我嗎?

　　噢，當(dāng)然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個(gè)詞?

　　英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話：奇猜異想

　　Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.

　　One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"

　　我們的物理教授千方百計(jì)引導(dǎo)我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進(jìn)入池子，發(fā)現(xiàn)水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對(duì)這一發(fā)現(xiàn)十分激動(dòng)，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰(shuí)知道他喊的是什么意思。

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”