幽默笑話，能讓你在信手翻啟間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放松、心緒的怦然萌動(dòng)、情感的欣然釋放。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)碛哪の兜?a href='http://www.zbfsgm.com/english/yuedu/xiaohua/' target='_blank'>英語笑話五則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：讓他當(dāng)指揮

　　MY musical director wasn't happy with the performance of one of our percuesionists.Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed. Finally,in front of the orchostra, the director said in frustration, “When a musician lust can't handle his instrument,they take it away, give him two sticks and make him a drummerl “A whisper was heard from the percussion section:"And if he can't handle that,they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

　　我們的樂隊(duì)指揮對(duì)一位打擊樂手的表現(xiàn)很不滿意。他想讓鼓手有所改進(jìn)的多次努力都失敗了。最后，指揮當(dāng)著整個(gè)樂隊(duì)的面生氣地說：“當(dāng)一個(gè)音樂家不能玩好自己的樂器的時(shí)候，他們就把他的樂器拿走，給他兩根棍，讓他當(dāng)鼓手。”這時(shí)候，從打擊樂器那邊傳來耳語聲：“如果他還不能擺弄好它，就拿走一根棍，讓他當(dāng)指揮。”

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：我可以把他關(guān)掉

　　After eaming my degree in broadcast journalism,1 was fortunate to land a job as a disc jockey at a top-rated local radio station. One day before work, I stopped by my parent house where my mother was chatting with some friends. She introduced me to everyone and proudly mentioned that I had my own radio show. "How is it having a son who's a popular radio personality?” asked one friend. " lt's wonderfull " Mom replied with glee. "For the first time in his life, I can turn him off whenever I please."

　　我在獲得廣播新聞學(xué)位以后，很幸運(yùn)地在當(dāng)?shù)匾患翼?xiàng)級(jí)廣播電臺(tái)里謀得一份流行音樂節(jié)目主持人的工作。有一天，我在上班之前到父母家里去了下。我螞正在和幾個(gè)朋友聊天。她把我介紹給每一個(gè)人，并且驕傲地提到我已經(jīng)有了自己的廣播節(jié)目。有一個(gè)朋友問： “有一個(gè)在電臺(tái)工作的兒子感覺怎么樣?"媽媽高興地說：”太好了!這還是在他人生中頭一回，只要我愿意，我就可以把他關(guān)掉。

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：那是我兒子

　　lt's every airplane passenger's nightmaro-getting stuck near a crying baby.1 was manning the ticket counter at a busy airport when the sound of a crying infant filled the air. As the next passenger stepped up to the desk, he glanC8d at the tot and rolled his eyes. "Don‘t worry,"I said to him cheely. "Chances are that babY won't be on your flight."Head shaking,he grimly replied, ¨Oh,I bet he will. That's my son.¨

　　如果乘飛機(jī)的時(shí)候坐在啼哭的孩子附近，那簡直就是一場(chǎng)夢(mèng)。當(dāng)我在一個(gè)繁忙的機(jī)場(chǎng)頂班幫助檢票的時(shí)候，有一陣嬰兒的哭鬧聲傳過來。下一個(gè)乘客走到柜臺(tái)跟前，看了一眼小家伙，把眼睛轉(zhuǎn)過去。我安慰他說：“別擔(dān)心，很有可能這孩子不和你坐同一班飛機(jī)。”他搖搖頭，無可奈何地說：“他肯定要和我坐同一班飛杌。是 的兒子。”

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：給兒子的信

　　Dear Son,

　　親愛的兒子：

　　l'm writing this slow because I know you can*t read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their new house ,so they wouldn't have to change their address. Your sister had a baby this morning .I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl. So don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. It only rained twice this week,three days the first time and four days the second time. lf you don't get this letter please let me know and l will send another one.

　　我在慢慢地給你寫信，因?yàn)槲抑滥憧葱趴床豢?。我們已?jīng)不住在你走的時(shí)候那個(gè)地方了。你爸爸看報(bào)紙上說大多數(shù)交通事故都發(fā)生在離家20英里的距離內(nèi)，所以我們就搬家了。我現(xiàn)在不能告訴你我們的地址，因?yàn)樵瓉碜≡谶@里的那家把門牌號(hào)拿到他們的新家去了，這樣他們就不需要換地址了。今天早上你姐姐生了一個(gè)孩子。我還不知道是男孩還是女孩。所以也不知道你是當(dāng)了阿姨還是舅舅。這個(gè)星期只下了兩次雨，第一次下了三天，第二次 下了四天。如果你收不到這封信，請(qǐng)你告訴我。我再給你寫一封。

　　Love, Mum

　　愛你的媽媽

　　幽默趣味英語笑話：盲人開車

　　The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross thestreet.I was crossing with a co-worker of mine,when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is green. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

　　當(dāng)行人可以安全過馬路的時(shí)候，馬路拐角處的指示燈就會(huì)發(fā)出響聲。我正和一位同事一起過馬路，她問我知道不知道這響聲是干什么用的。我說，這是給盲人的綠燈信號(hào)。她膽戰(zhàn)心驚地問：“盲人究竟為什么要開車?”