經(jīng)典外國(guó)幽默笑話(huà)四則閱讀
笑話(huà)是一種增強(qiáng)快樂(lè)的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單,文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn),給人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話(huà)四則,希望大家喜歡!
外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話(huà):考驗(yàn)
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD),the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
洛杉磯警察局、聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局和中央情報(bào)局都在盡力證明他們?cè)谧ゲ蹲锓阜矫媸亲詈玫???偨y(tǒng)決定考驗(yàn)他們一次。他往森林里放了一只兔子,每一方都得抓住它。
The C1A goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
中央情報(bào)局進(jìn)了森林。他們?cè)谏掷锊紳M(mǎn)了動(dòng)物密探,他們質(zhì)問(wèn)所有的植物和礦石目擊者。進(jìn)行了三個(gè)月的廣泛調(diào)查之后,他們宣布兔子根本不存在。
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,killing everything in it,including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局進(jìn)人了森林。兩個(gè)星期后仍然沒(méi)有進(jìn)展,最后他們燒了森林,殺死了里面所有的一切,包括那只兔子,并且他們沒(méi)有為此而道歉。
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! Okay! I am a rabbit! I am a rabbit!”
洛杉磯警察局進(jìn)人了森林。兩個(gè)小時(shí)后他們帶著一只被打得遍體鱗傷的黑熊走出來(lái)。這只熊喊著:“好吧,好吧!我是只兔子!我是只兔子!”
外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話(huà):我的房間在哪
A deaf couple checks into a motel very late at night. Upon moving into their assigned room, they go to bed. But in the middle of the night, the woman has a headache,so she goes into the bathroom for aspirin. But she finds none,and remembers that the bottle of aspirin is still in the car. Afraid to go out alone at night, she awakens her husband and asks him to go and get the aspirin from the car. The very groggy husband puts on his robe and toddles wearily outside. He finds the bottle of aspirin in the car's glove compartment, and gets ready to go back to the room when he realizes something: he can’t remember which room was his
一對(duì)耳聾的夫婦在深夜住進(jìn)了一間汽車(chē)旅館。一進(jìn)了定好的房間他們就躺下睡了。但等到半夜,妻子覺(jué)得頭疼,于是就到衛(wèi)生間找阿司匹林??墒撬龥](méi)有找到,這時(shí)她想起來(lái)在車(chē)上還有一瓶。她不敢深夜獨(dú)自出去,于是就叫醒她的丈夫,讓他出去從車(chē)上拿那瓶阿司匹林?;位斡朴频恼煞虼┥纤?,東倒西歪地走出門(mén)外。他在汽車(chē)儀表盤(pán)的貯物箱里找到了阿司匹林,當(dāng)他準(zhǔn)備回房間時(shí),他想不起來(lái)到底哪間才是他的房間。
He thinks and thinks and then gets an idea. He opens the car again and honks the steering wheel horn several times. Within a minute,all the motel’s windows lighten up--except one window, and of course, he makes for the room with that window.
他想來(lái)想去,最后想出了一個(gè)主意。他打開(kāi)車(chē)門(mén)然后按起了喇叭。不到一分鐘,整個(gè)汽車(chē)旅館里除了一間還黑著燈,所有的窗戶(hù)都亮了。當(dāng)然,因此他找到了自己的房間。
外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話(huà):只聽(tīng)上帝的安排
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
一個(gè)男人孤獨(dú)的在海灘上散步。突然他聽(tīng)到一個(gè)低沉的聲音:“挖!”
He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG!
他環(huán)顧周?chē)粋€(gè)人都沒(méi)有。他認(rèn)為他一定是產(chǎn)生了幻覺(jué)。然后,他又聽(tīng)到了那個(gè)聲音:“我說(shuō),挖!”
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands,and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
于是,他開(kāi)始用雙手在沙地上挖,挖了幾英寸后他發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)小箱子,上面還有一把生銹的鎖。
The deep voice says: OPEN!
那個(gè)低沉的聲音說(shuō):“打開(kāi)!”
0k,the man thinks, let’s open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock , and when the chest is finally open , he sees a lot of gold coins.
那個(gè)男人決定把那個(gè)箱子打開(kāi)。他找到一塊石頭敲開(kāi)了鎖。當(dāng)箱子打開(kāi)時(shí)他看到里面全是金幣。
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!
那個(gè)低沉的聲音說(shuō):“去賭場(chǎng)!”
Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.
那個(gè)男人一想賭場(chǎng)只有幾英里遠(yuǎn),于是就帶著那個(gè)箱子去了賭場(chǎng)。
The deep voice says: ROULETTE !
那個(gè)低沉的聲音說(shuō):“輪盤(pán)賭!”
So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables,where the players gaze at him with disbelief.
他把所有的金幣都換成了輪盤(pán)賭的籌碼,當(dāng)他走到一個(gè)輪盤(pán)賭的桌子前,所有的人都用懷疑的目光看著他。
The deep voice says: 27!
那個(gè)低沉的聲音又說(shuō):“二十七!”
He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts.Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26.
他把所有的籌碼都?jí)涸诹硕呱?。那個(gè)賭桌都快放不下了。當(dāng)那個(gè)球在輪盤(pán)賭上轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)時(shí)每個(gè)人都安靜了下來(lái)。最后,它停在了二十六上。
Finally, the deep voice says: This is called BAD LUCK ! My son!
最終,那個(gè)低沉的聲音說(shuō):“我的孩子,這就叫做‘倒霉’!”
外國(guó)經(jīng)典幽默笑話(huà):誰(shuí)是喬治•華盛頓
有一位老師問(wèn)了一個(gè)學(xué)生很多問(wèn)題,但那個(gè)學(xué)生一個(gè)問(wèn)題也回答不上來(lái)。于是,老師決定問(wèn)他一些非常簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題,使他能答對(duì)幾個(gè)。
A teacher was asking a student a lot of question,but the student couldn’t answer any of them. The teacher then decided to ask him some very easy question so that he could get a few right.
她說(shuō):“班克·希爾是什么?”
"What was Banker Hill?" She said.
這位學(xué)生想了一會(huì),然后回答:“一個(gè)飛機(jī)場(chǎng)?”
The student thought for some time and then answered,"an airport?"
老師說(shuō):“不!是一場(chǎng)戰(zhàn)役!”她有點(diǎn)生氣了,但是她還是盡量不表現(xiàn)出來(lái)。接著,她問(wèn)道:“美國(guó)的第一任總統(tǒng)是誰(shuí)?”
"No, it was a battle," the teacher said. She was getting a little angry now, but she was trying not to show it. Then she asked,"Who was the first President of the United States? "
這位學(xué)生想了好長(zhǎng)的一段時(shí)間,但還是一言不發(fā)。老師非常生氣,大聲喊道:“喬治·華盛頓!”學(xué)生站了起來(lái),開(kāi)始走回自己的座位。
The student thought for a long time, but didn't say anything. Then the teacher got very angry and shouted,"George Washington!" the student got up and began to walk towards his seat.
老師說(shuō):“回來(lái)!我沒(méi)叫你回去!”
"Come back!" the teacher said. "I didn’t tell you're to go."
這位學(xué)生說(shuō):“哦,對(duì)不起!我以為你叫下一位學(xué)生呢!”
"Oh,I'sorry ," the student said,"I thought you called the next studen