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　　外國趣味幽默笑話：誰醉了

　　On a pleasant Sunday afternoon an old Englishman and his youngest son were seated in the village inn. The father had partaken liberally of the beer, and was warning his son against the evils of intemperance.

　　在一個(gè)陽光明媚的周日午后，一個(gè)年長的英國紳士和他年幼的兒子一同坐在村莊的旅店里。父親沒有節(jié)制地大口喝著啤酒，并警告他的兒子如果放縱就會(huì)給你帶來痛苦。

　　"Never drink too much, my son. A gentleman stops when he has enough. To be drunk is a disgrace.”

　　“永遠(yuǎn)不要喝的太多，我的兒子。一個(gè)紳士在喝酒時(shí)會(huì)適可而止。喝醉了酒可是不太光彩啊。”

　　"Yes, father, but how can I tell when I have enough or am drunk?"

　　“是的，爸爸。但是當(dāng)我喝的有點(diǎn)過頭甚至喝醉了的時(shí)候我怎么才能知道呢?”

　　The old man pointed with his fingers.

　　這位年長的父親伸出手指指向一邊。

　　"Do you see those two men sitting in the corner? If you should see four men there .you would know that you were drunk.”

　　“你看見坐在角落的那兩個(gè)男人了嗎?如果你看見的是四個(gè)男人坐在那里，那你要意識(shí)到你是喝醉了。”

　　The boy looked long and eamestly, After a time in puzzled tones, he said: yes, father, but-but-there is only one man in that corner.”

　　那個(gè)男孩認(rèn)真仔細(xì)的看了很久。過了一會(huì)之后，他用困惑的聲調(diào)說到:“是呀，爸爸，但是—但是—在那個(gè)角落里只有一個(gè)人呀!”

　　外國趣味幽默笑話：冰上釣魚

　　A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.

　　一個(gè)酒鬼打算要去冰上垂釣，于是，他收拾好了用具到四處逛了逛，直到找到了一大塊冰。于是他在冰的中心開始鋸洞。

　　All of a sudden，a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice.”

　　突然之間，一個(gè)急速擴(kuò)大的聲音從天空中傳來。“你不會(huì)在冰的下面找到魚的。”

　　The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks，"as I said before, there are no fish under the ice.”

　　這個(gè)酒鬼朝四周看了看，但是沒有人。他又開始鋸了起來。那個(gè)說話人的聲音又一次傳來:“我剛才已經(jīng)說過了，冰的下面沒有魚。”

　　The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can’t see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.

　　那個(gè)酒鬼又向四周從高處到低處的望了一番，但是，連一個(gè)人影也沒有看見。他又拿起了鋸繼續(xù)進(jìn)行他的工作。

　　Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!”

　　就在他馬上要鋸斷冰面的時(shí)候，一聲巨大的喊叫聲打斷了他:“我現(xiàn)在第三次警告你，這下面沒有魚!”

　　The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared，so he asks the voice，"how do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"

　　這個(gè)酒鬼神情慌張甚至覺得恐懼，于是他問了那個(gè)聲音:“你怎么知道這下面沒有魚?上帝呀，難道是你在警告我嗎?”

　　"No,” the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink.”

　　“不是，”那個(gè)聲音回答他:“我是這個(gè)冰球場(chǎng)的經(jīng)理。”

　　外國趣味幽默笑話：優(yōu)質(zhì)服務(wù)

　　Department一store automatic answering machine:

　　百貨公司自動(dòng)答復(fù)機(jī):

　　"If you are calling to order or send money, press 5.”

　　“如果您想定貨或者付定金請(qǐng)按5。”

　　"If you are calling to register a complaint, press 645954145452772.”

　　“如果您想登記投訴請(qǐng)按645954145452772”

　　"Have a good day.”

　　“祝您愉快。”