簡(jiǎn)單少兒英語(yǔ)爆笑小笑話
小朋友其實(shí)有時(shí)候不開(kāi)心是很容易自愈，講個(gè)笑話就行了，小編今天就給大家分享一下英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎大家收藏
簡(jiǎn)單少兒英語(yǔ)小笑話
Big Head
"All the kids make fun of me ”the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him. "You have a beautiful head.Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where is the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one-----use your hat."
大腦袋
“所有孩子都拿我開(kāi)玩笑”， 小男孩哭著和媽媽說(shuō)：“他們說(shuō)我腦袋大”
“別聽(tīng)他們的，”母親安慰道：“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買(mǎi)10磅土豆來(lái)。”
“購(gòu)物袋在哪兒?”
“我沒(méi)購(gòu)物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。
英語(yǔ)兒童幽默笑話參考
Long Life
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, ” he shouted. “here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever.”
“And, ladies and gentlemen,” the man continued, “I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever.”
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, “if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?”
Then another person cried , “Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. ”
“Thank you, sir, thank you,” the man replied, “I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. ”
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. “Is that true,” he asked, “that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?”
“Don't ask me,” the assistant said, “I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years.”
長(zhǎng)生不老
一人在集市賣(mài)藥。起先他賣(mài)一美元一瓶的治感冒的藥。
很多人想買(mǎi)藥，那人的年輕助手迅速穿行于人群中，一邊收錢(qián)，一邊遞藥。
然后當(dāng)圍觀的人多起來(lái)時(shí)，那人舉起一個(gè)小瓶子。
“聽(tīng)著，女士們，先生們，”那人喊道，“這就是你們一直想要的藥。
消除衰老的藥。只吃一瓶，就會(huì)長(zhǎng)生不老。”
“女士們，先生們，”那人接著說(shuō)道，“對(duì)這種神奇的藥，我不打算賣(mài)一瓶100美元。我不打算賣(mài)一瓶50美元，我也不打算賣(mài)一瓶25美元。我只打算賣(mài)一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友們，只花10美元，你們就能長(zhǎng)生不老。”
人群中大多數(shù)人不相信他的話。
一人喊道：“如果這藥能使人長(zhǎng)生不老，你為什么不吃?”
接著另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60歲。”
“謝謝，先生，謝謝，”那人回答，“我很高興你這么說(shuō)。我的實(shí)際年齡是329歲。”
聽(tīng)到他的話，人群中發(fā)出一陣笑聲，但仍有幾個(gè)人愿意相信他的話。其中一人當(dāng)那個(gè)助手經(jīng)過(guò)時(shí)問(wèn)她，“他已329歲了，這是真的嗎?”他問(wèn)。
“別問(wèn)我，”助手說(shuō)，“我只為他工作了150年。”
英語(yǔ)笑話兒童閱讀范文
A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.
"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.
有個(gè)人去寵物店買(mǎi)鸚鵡。在那里，他看見(jiàn)有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對(duì)此他感到不解，于是他問(wèn)該店的老板，老板回答說(shuō)：“這只鸚鵡受過(guò)特殊的訓(xùn)練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語(yǔ)，拉綠線，它則講德語(yǔ)。”
這個(gè)好奇的人接著問(wèn)，“要是我兩條線都拉，會(huì)怎么樣呢?”
“我就會(huì)掉下來(lái)了，你這個(gè)傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說(shuō)。
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